Gift giving is overrated as a grownup
As an adult, I love giving my daughters gifts like you mentioned. Seeing their excitement as they open them is amazing.
I also treasure the hand-made gifts they create in school; they love it when I tell them how great it looks and that I appreciate it.
Wouldn’t that count as gift giving?
@Pearl
Alright, point taken. Handmade gifts are genuinely nice. They show effort and thought, whether it’s preschool crafts or a homemade cake. There’s real meaning behind, ‘I thought of you and wanted to show you this.’
I think there’s a difference between, ‘Here’s $20, I thought of you,’ and ‘I thought of you and made you this fruit basket.’
@Huxley
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@Huxley
I think the delta should be a separate comment, not an edit.
Pearl said:
@Huxley
I think the delta should be a separate comment, not an edit.
That’s not accurate. It’s actually better to edit your comment rather than make a new one since comments with delta statements must meet a minimum length to count.
@Pearl
Gift giving shifts from a focus on material items to showing care and personal connection.
Getting a gift as an adult shows how well you know someone and that you care enough to pick something just for them. When I was a child, I wanted things I couldn’t have, but now, the emotional connection to gift giving wins out.
@Pearl
Even a simple card shows someone you thought of them, which can be important in adult life when it’s easy to forget.
That said, I’m not fond of generic cards that only have a signature. I enjoy writing notes and giving thoughtful gifts, not just on holidays but whenever I see something that might bring a friend joy. I tend to give gifts when I see something they’d enjoy, regardless of the occasion. I agree that giving a gift out of obligation feels pointless, but I feel good when I find something my loved ones will appreciate.
@Pearl
The joy from gift giving as an adult goes deeper and feels more satisfying than when receiving gifts as a child.
I can recall gifts that amused me for a while, but that excitement faded fast. Now, I witness the joy on my nieces and nephews’ faces when I give them gifts. I have taken on the role of a fun uncle, largely because of my knack for gift giving. The kids eagerly unwrap their presents, sometimes even sneaking a peek beforehand due to their excitement.
Overall, I feel my relationships with them have grown because of these gifts, and I could have just opted for gift cards, but choosing to do something thoughtful has allowed me to build solid connections.
@Chance
I love giving gifts as an adult, but I dislike holidays and birthdays. Gifts should happen spontaneously, when you see something your partner would love.
But as adults, having to buy numerous gifts for many people, while each one also gets you something, feels like wasting money. Instead of getting ten inferior gifts worth $20 each, you’d be happier getting one nice treat that means something. Plus, many gift-givers may not know each other well enough, leading the gifts to feel less meaningful.
@Pearl
I love receiving gift cards as birthday presents. They help so much, especially since I’m not in a good financial position right now. Just turned 40 and I wished for gift cards because they really aid me in managing my costs.
@Jori
Circumstances do matter.
When you’re in tough financial situations, it’s understandable that gift cards or cash would be more useful than physical gifts like flowers.
That’s also why I don’t mind asking for specific things when I’m expecting a baby or getting married because those items really assist during big life changes.
If I knew you well enough and recognized your financial struggles, I’d likely give you cash instead of a gift card since that’s more flexible and easy to use.
@Huxley
So has your view transformed since your original post? Or was your original view incomplete? You need to provide a delta if your perspective has changed or update your original post.
@Pearl
I appreciate gift giving for both kids and adults, but the dynamics differ.
Gifts for kids often fulfill some unmet need. They can’t afford it, and the only way they get what they want is through an adult. This straightforward exchange brings children happiness.
In contrast, when giving gifts to adults, it’s a way of demonstrating that you listen, see, and understand them. If it’s a thoughtful gift, it shows that you care deeply. It’s essential, however, that you have a close relationship; otherwise, it feels more like an obligation. I cherish my close connections with family and friends, which is why I enjoy giving gifts that bring them joy.
@Pearl
I enjoy gift giving as an adult because it allows me to be like Santa.
@Pearl
Knowing someone well enough is what makes gift giving fulfilling. It shows you care about them enough to put in thought, and the anticipation of receiving something meaningful is its own joy.
It’s also nice to get something free from the burden of having paid for it yourself, especially those nice-to-have items that don’t fit into your budget.
@Pearl
While I enjoy thoughtful gift giving, I do agree that we often go too far.
A meaningful present is one that’s homemade or shows effort. I remember when my brother and I were children, our mother made us record one nice action each month for Christmas. We didn’t focus on material gifts, which taught us to appreciate our actions instead. It might sound cheesy, but I still think about it today. It’s easy to buy gifts as adults since we have the means, but it feels more meaningful to invest time into something personal.
@Pearl
I had the same opinion until my wife showed me what it means to receive a well-thought-out gift that reflects genuine care.
She changed my perspective, and now I enjoy giving gifts much more. Seeing her happiness when I give something thoughtful brings me joy too.
@Pearl
Gift giving serves a social purpose. Most exchanges in life are transactional; I give you what you want, and you reciprocate with money.
However, gift giving fosters a continuous obligation between friends and family. When you give a free gift, it establishes a bond and nurtures a trust that implies a desire for a lasting relationship.
A good gift conveys thoughtfulness, regardless of market value; it leans into the commitment of the relationship, which is often more valuable than any material worth.
As you grow up, gifts vary from tangible items to experiences, and these require knowing the person well. Otherwise, it’s simply a favor.
By your own definition, the rubbish gifts that weren’t given by people who genuinely know you don’t qualify as gifts. Therefore, when considering just the true gifts given by those who know you best, you’ll find they tend to be surprising, heartfelt, and meaningful—absolutely not overrated; they truly are wonderful.
Thank you.