Instead of items, think about offering experiences or consumables. Theater or concert tickets, food, candles, or anything they can enjoy.
EJames said:
Instead of items, think about offering experiences or consumables. Theater or concert tickets, food, candles, or anything they can enjoy.
I agree! I became tired of giving and receiving stuff with no thought behind it, so I started focusing on consumables. I got my brother a coffee subscription for six months that he loved!
EJames said:
Instead of items, think about offering experiences or consumables. Theater or concert tickets, food, candles, or anything they can enjoy.
My husband and I do this for each other. We keep a ticket album to remember the experiences we had together.
I recently gave a gift as thanks to someone for helping my wife and me. I chose a bottle of wine and a gift card to their favorite high-end grocery store. It felt personal and meaningful. They texted us how much they appreciated it.
Not all gifts need to be physical items.
Read the essay Gifts by Emerson. There’s a memorable quote:
“The only gift is a portion of thyself. Thou must bleed for me. Therefore the poet brings his poem; the shepherd, his lamb; the farmer, corn; the miner, a gem; the sailor, coral and shells; the painter, his picture; the girl, a handkerchief of her own sewing.”
I chose to give wine and a market gift card because my wife and I enjoyed many wonderful nights with wine and food from that market. It represented our relationship, and it was simple, which is important to all of us.
I’ve mentioned this before: Christmas and birthdays aren’t about you or your beliefs. If they want gifts, give them gifts. You show love by giving them what they want and need. You’re not supporting consumerism by gifting a friend. Gifts are more about showing you care.
@Reed
That’s nice, but I prefer not to express my gratitude by drowning them in stuff. Most people I buy for don’t clearly state what they want, so it’s often stressful.
Pretty said:
@Reed
That’s nice, but I prefer not to express my gratitude by drowning them in stuff. Most people I buy for don’t clearly state what they want, so it’s often stressful.
The easiest way to find out what they want is to ask, haha. If they don’t give a clear answer when you ask, then you can skip gifting. You could take them to dinner or offer some experience. If they do express a specific wish for something, you should get that item, not something you think they would like to avoid overspending.
Consumables like fancy soaps that many people kind of want but rarely buy for themselves are great gifts.
Knowing what they need is ideal (like when my mom’s rose bush died last winter, she got a potted rose on her nameday). I’m considering purchasing my parents an apricot tree sapling.
Alternatively, ask them a couple of weeks prior what they want. We do this with my sister, and for her last birthday she asked for a specific makeup item I didn’t even know existed. I got headphones for her because her last ones broke.
Also consider tickets to a museum, movie, or concert for those immaterial wins. Homemade snacks and jams are budget-friendly, too!
I mostly send people virtual vouchers (via email) for stores like M&S where they can buy food or things they like. I dislike giving things that they probably don’t want. It feels wasteful.
For those I care about, giving stocks can also be a cool gift.
About ten years ago, we stopped giving most people gifts. We sent out a Christmas letter with a note explaining that instead, we would donate the money we would have spent on gifts to a good cause.
That year, we bought a toy for each present we would have gotten and donated them all to Toys For Tots. We sent out a picture of the mountain of toys to prove we meant it. We also asked that anyone who wanted to gift us instead contribute to their favorite charity. A few people actually sent us notices of donations made in our names.
We still gift kids and some people for occasions, but mostly we’ve stopped the big gift exchanges. It works out well.
(Also, for must-give gifts, I prefer experiences over items. Tickets to events, nice dinners, and adventures are always better.)
I agree with most points here. My family has a ‘wish list’ for each person. For baby showers, I always make a diaper cake using size 2 diapers and ensure it’s practical.
I give consumables like baked goods, wine, meals, or homemade jams/jellies. I also gift cards to a person’s favorite store.
I’m not fond of cards! They seem pricey and pointless. I prefer handwritten notes and personal messages; they mean so much more than a generic card. My favorite cards come from my son, grandkids, friends, and family. They hold more value for me than a store-bought card.
Once, I got a lovely card with a scenic design, and the person wrote inside that they were sorry for my loss while the price tag was $8.99! I didn’t understand!
For Christmas, I usually grab holiday-specific note paper and envelopes and write quick and easy messages. It’s much more economical and causes less waste.
@Dacey
I mostly feel the same about cards. Recently, I’ve found unique ones on Etsy that fit the recipient’s personality. It feels good to support an artist, and the recipients appreciate the thoughtfulness I put into finding a special card for them.
@Rowan
I get that, but I feel that most people read the cards and throw them out after a few days. I don’t like that and wish the giver would just write me a quick note. Their words tell me they care, and that means a lot.
I went to a baby shower recently. The mom received many fancy cards, some even handmade. During cleanup, the money or gift cards were taken away, and every one of them ended up in the trash with the wrapping paper!
I was curious about the cards’ costs and was shocked by the total because there were 18 store-bought cards and it amounted to about $75! For a 4 year old! The cards got opened, read, and the money taken away, but they went straight to the trash afterward!
I think these examples are common now. I remember years ago cards had significance, but that seems to have faded. I know people want them to be meaningful, but honestly, I value a quick note more than a bought card.
@Dacey
I always think about what they need or what they could use daily. For my family and friends, I recall things they have mentioned they want or just ask them directly if there’s something they need. For example, my friend’s reusable water bottle broke, so I bought her a good quality one that should last longer for her birthday.
@Jalen
I do this for Christmas and birthdays as well. Last Christmas, I got my brother a pack of his favorite soap, a big pack of razors, and nice socks. He hadn’t been working, so I thought he would appreciate these gifts he may not have had the cash to buy.
@Dacey
Gifting experiences is a fantastic option. I’ve given gifts like a hot air balloon ride, axe throwing sessions for cousins, family escape rooms, and even cruises, which can be more affordable than expected. These shared experiences help create lasting memories rather than clutter.
Consumables are also a good route. A friend gifts me homemade salsas and pickled veggies, and it always feels nice knowing she thought of me while making those. I also give consumables to coworkers, like chocolate and fruit boxes.
@Drake
I do similar things and aim to take the time to enjoy experiences together. For my mom’s birthday, I spend the whole day with her doing things she loves. Going out or spending quality time together is especially nice with siblings and parents, even if you frequently see them.
@Gentry
That’s wonderful! Honestly, that’s what I want from my kids too.
@Dacey
For my gift plan this year, everyone gets a gift box that includes:
- something they need (like socks and underwear)
- something they want
- food (or a grocery store/restaurant gift card)
- a book