Who do you get gifts for during the holidays

General
1

I’m trying to control my spending, but with Christmas approaching I’m curious about who I should buy gifts for and what budget should I set.

For example, my close family includes my husband, our toddler son, and our dog. Last year, since our son was only eight months old during Christmas, my husband and I decided not to buy him any gifts and instead ‘adopted’ a local family who couldn’t afford gifts for their children. This year I’d like to buy gifts for my son, my husband, and even the dog. But how much is too much?

How much do you typically spend on parents, step-parents, siblings?

What about in-laws and their kids?

Neighbors and their children?

Friends and their kids?

It feels like Christmas this year is going to be a huge drain on my finances.

2

I budget for Christmas all year and really love it, so take my answers with that in mind. We are a big Christmas family, it takes us four days to put up all our decorations at home for example. Here’s how my budget looks:

Immediate family includes my mom, significant other, and his parents.
Mom: ~£400

SO: ~£400

His parents: about £200, we all pitch in for this. We may buy together for my mom too, but after my dad passed away not long ago, some gifts are from just me.

Dog: maybe a nice new bone for £5

Cat: fancy tinned salmon for £3

Typically I would then spend:
Oldest friend 1: £40-50

Close friends 1-5: around £20 each or I might bake homemade presents like chutney or shortbread. The ingredients for this roughly cost about £40 total.

Office Secret Santa (hopefully not this year): £10

Neighbors: homemade gifts as above, maybe a bottle of wine or sherry for around £20. Probably not this year as I don’t think we will get the chance to celebrate.

More Christmas decorations, getting the tree and other festive items for our flat and my mom’s house: £200

Christmas cards plus postage: £50, but we like to use charity cards, so part of this is donations as well.

Church collection at carol service: £10. Not sure if we will be able to do this this year, so sad because I love singing carols.

Other charitable giving: around £100 to various charities plus £5-10 here and there for what I run into during the season and donations to the food bank. Totals probably about £150-200 this year. I plan to increase this amount.

So that’s my breakdown! It seems like a lot but it’s for a few people and I try to focus on homemade and meaningful gifts for others. I truly enjoy Christmas and love choosing gifts for my mom and SO and watching them open them. I adore the whole festive period and feel sad that it’s going to be different this year. I hope I can still celebrate with the two most important people in my life and sing carols together, even if it isn’t in church or the village square.

Edit: I forgot about shortbread for the postman and binmen too. Probably around £10 for ingredients if that.

3

@Chen
I think it’s great that you include your dog and cat in your Christmas budget.

4

Reeve said:
@Chen
I think it’s great that you include your dog and cat in your Christmas budget.

Thanks! I felt a little guilty noting they have such a small budget, but I think they appreciate their gifts the most!

5

I’m pretty frugal with Christmas. We do Secret Santa for $30-$50 with both families so we only buy one gift. I get small things for my husband’s sisters and a larger joint gift for his mom and dad. My family only does Secret Santa to save on costs. Other than that I mostly buy for my husband and might leave a Starbucks gift card for our mail carrier. Excluding my husband, I probably spend less than $200.

6

I absolutely love Christmas and I’m excited to both give and receive gifts. I started a high-paying job a year ago, so now we are less stressed about spending this time of year. Also, I typically cash in all my credit card rewards in November to help offset Christmas expenses. Here’s what my husband and I have been doing:

My Family

This includes my parents, my husband, my sister and her partner, and my brother.

We all chip in together for the others’ gifts. For example, my sister and her husband team up with my husband and me to buy for my brother. The budget is typically $30-50 per gift giver, depending on how we’re all doing financially that year.

For us, it adds up to six gifts at $60-100 each, totaling around $360-600.

His Family

This includes his parents; my husband and I; his brother, sister, and their families.

Recently we’ve done Secret Santa with a limit of $100 per gift. Plus, we get gifts for the kids, usually around $100 for our niece and $50 for our step-nephew who doesn’t typically spend the holidays with us. Total for us is about $350.

Friends/Others

  • I do a Secret Santa with my high school friends with a limit of $50, including shipping.
  • I join a gift exchange with college friends called “My Favorite Things,” with a limit of $20 per gift, so I spend $40 there.
  • We usually do a Secret Santa with my extended family, who we typically spend part of the holiday with. This is usually a $50 limit, but we won’t have it this year due to COVID.
  • Sometimes I send gifts to friends from law school, but when I do, it’s usually $10-20, totaling $30-60.
  • It’s common in my office to buy Christmas gifts for our assistants. Last year I got a small gift card since I started working in October. This year I plan to get a $100 gift card.

Grand Total: Ranges from $980 to $1250.

My husband and I often choose not to gift each other since we have so much stuff, and instead, we like to travel during the year. However, we might give gifts this year since it’s unclear when we’ll be able to travel again. I guess we would set a $50 budget for gifts, though that’s not certain.

7

We do immediate family only - parents (5), siblings (3), and grandparent (1). I budget $50-100 each. My preference is $50, while my husband likes $100. I’m not sure what I’ll get them this year, probably gift cards! When we have a child, I think we’ll stop gifting except for them. It feels like we’re just trading money around right now.

8

My family (parents and siblings) typically gets a bottle for the adults and a $20-30 gift for my nieces. My husband’s family doesn’t celebrate Christmas. For my kids, I usually spend about $150-250 each, focusing on ‘something to play with, something to read, something to wear’. I also buy gifts off a wish list for families at our YMCA. My husband and I do small gifts, usually under $50 for each other. I also tend to spend a lot on fancy food, like 100 oysters for Christmas Eve and tenderloin for Christmas Day, along with lots of champagne. Not this year though.

9

@Harmon
I love how you do gifts for your kids! For my niece, I’m giving her a book and an ornament every year; this will be Christmas number two for that tradition. Having guidelines really helps.

10

I expected to just buy gifts for my mom/stepdad, partner, and dog this year, budgeting maybe £250.

Now it looks like we may lose my auntie (my mom’s sister) before Christmas, with her prognosis recently changing from ‘months left’ to ‘weeks left’, so now I’m trying to think of ideas for my mom’s side of the family that I don’t usually buy for, to make Christmas special. I might end up sending care packages of festive baked goods or something small but meaningful. My aunt really loves Christmas, and if this is our first without her, I want it to have some magic.

So now my list is:
Partner
Dog
Mom
Stepdad
Nanna
Grandad
Aunt’s partner
Another aunt/uncle
(I’m also buying for my aunt! But she gets her gifts early, a big trunk full of chocolates is being sent her way as we speak!)

11

Last year I gave around $40 to my three siblings and some gifts for my boyfriend’s younger family members, as well as some clothes for his nieces. This year, I don’t feel comfortable buying gifts or giving money. If you give one kid money, you have to give to all of them. Even with Christmas still two months away, I’m already anxious. I want to tackle some credit card debt and focus on birthdays over Christmas. I’m not religious but my boyfriend’s family is, so I might just stay home this year lol. I’m also not a big fan of Christmas food.

12

For my immediate family (mom, dad, brother), I spend about $100-150 each. For friends, I generally spend about $50-60 for my two closest friends, and $40 each for another friend (we like giving each other gifts, lol) plus a budget for our friend group’s Secret Santa.

13

For my family, we focus on parents, nieces, and nephews, and do Secret Santa with siblings. We keep it reasonable but end up spending around $300.

For my husband’s family, we buy individual gifts for parents, nieces, and siblings plus their partners. They love books, so we mostly gift those. That totals another $200.

This adds up quickly! I expect to spend about $300 on my husband and son since I’m getting them two big gifts plus clothes they actually need, which I would buy anyway.

I wish our families would do Secret Santa as a whole, like one family gifting to another.

14

I don’t have many family obligations for gifts. My partner and I usually keep gifts between $100-150 each.
I bring an ornament or baked goods to his parents. I normally don’t do specific gifts for his family.
I don’t exchange gifts with my parents or sister regularly. Occasionally, my sister and I might buy something for our mom together, but she returns most of them so we’ve kind of given up.
I have one friend I usually trade gifts with, typically in the $50 range. Other than that, I don’t really exchange gifts with friends unless there’s a party, then I’d bring food or drink.

I often visit one friend during Christmas, and she has kids, so I bring gifts for them.

My dog is happy with whipped cream and bacon. And honestly, anything non-edible is really more of a gift for me. Chews and special treats make cute dog stocking stuffers, though.

Total is usually around $300.

15

My immediate family consists of my husband and our two small kids (18 months and 9 years).

My husband and I do not exchange gifts at Christmas, but I do make a nice dinner.

For my son who is still young, we will probably just get him some necessities and wrap them up so he has things to open. I budget around $50-75.

My stepdaughter has a birthday right after Christmas, so we keep gifts simple for her. She gets a lot from everyone so we follow this simple rule: something to wear, read, want, and need, budgeting about $50-75.

We follow a Secret Santa in my husband’s family with a $50 limit, which totals $100 for the two of us.

For my mom and brother, I make sure to get them a small gift for $25-30 each every year since our family is so small.

I bake lots of desserts too, which go to grandparents, close family friends, and my husband’s coworkers.

All together, my total is around $250-350 each year, excluding decorations, but I have reduced my spending a lot lately.

16

Before COVID

Total: $2,000

Mom: $600 worth of gifts.
Dad: $600 worth of gifts.
Brother: $25.
Brother’s wife: $25.
Sister: $25.
Sister’s husband: $25.
Grandma: $50.
Granddad: $50.
Niece (only have 1): $35 worth of gifts.
Nephews (I have 4): $25 each.
Salvation Army angel tree girl: $100.
Salvation Army angel tree boy: $100.
Myself: $265.

I am getting laid off on January 1, so I won’t be spending nearly as much. Currently, I don’t have a job lined up even though I have been searching for the past four months. I’m moving back in with my parents, so I have moving expenses to cover.

After/between COVID

Total: $420

Mom: $100 worth of gifts.
Dad: $100 worth of gifts.
Brother: $10.
Brother’s wife: $10.
Sister: $10.
Sister’s husband: $10.
Grandma: $25.
Granddad: $25.
Niece (only have 1): $15 worth of gifts.
Nephews (I have 4): $15 each.
Myself: $100.

17

On my dad’s side, we agree that only kids get gifts, and I have a tradition of getting my cousin’s kids books. (We don’t have a close relationship on my mom’s side).

So the only gifts my husband and I buy are for our parents, our siblings, and their spouses. My side usually spends less than my husband’s side (less than $75-100 per person compared to $150).

We also do something small for our closest friends and/or their pets (1-3 per year, around $30-50 per person).

I make cookie boxes for neighbors and trainers (both dog and horse). That can add up, but I’m known for them since I go a little off the beaten path and I like to think I’m a decent baker. I stock up on treat bags after Christmas sales to keep costs down. I’ve started picking my assortment already (kransekake, krumkake, pfeffernüsse, some kind of spritz cookie, mint-cranberry-chocolate chip cookies, and maybe pumpkin dog cookies).

18

@Lorin
I would love your recipes for the first three if they aren’t family secrets? I’m a big Christmas baker myself and am always looking for trusted ideas!

19

Chen said:
@Lorin
I would love your recipes for the first three if they aren’t family secrets? I’m a big Christmas baker myself and am always looking for trusted ideas!

Definitely not family secrets. My grandma has a terrible cooking reputation, so most recipes are my own, mostly borrowed from Beatrice Ojakangas and modified.
Edit I hit submit by accident*

Kransekake
500g ground almonds (or almond meal)
500g powdered sugar
4 egg whites (or aquafaba, which I think helps the texture, even if it makes it a bit chewier)
1 tsp almond extract

Mix and cool for at least 2 hours (there’s a cooked version, but I never have luck with that). Roll into thin lengths and cut to about 6 inches. Traditionally, it’s shaped into a tower of rings, but those don’t gift well. Bake at 400° F for about 8 minutes. Once cool, drizzle with thin royal icing and add red and green sanding sugar for a festive touch that might irritate my grandmother.

Krumkake (vegan and gluten-free)
1 cup sugar
.5 cup butter (I use Earth Balance)
2 eggs (or aquafaba)
1 cup milk (almond really elevates it, but I want to try oat milk this year)
1.5 cups flour (I use Cup4Cup)

Mix the ingredients in order, dollop 1-1.5 tablespoons at a time onto a krumkake iron. Say goodbye to your fingerprints as they get burned off while rolling them. Amazing with cocowhip and cloudberry jam.

Pfeffernüsse

1 cup butter, room temperature
1 cup dark brown sugar
1 egg (I use flax egg here)
1 cup almond meal
2.5 cups flour (also Cup4Cup)
1 teaspoon baking powder
0.5 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cardamom (I tend to go generous with cardamom)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
0.5 teaspoon ginger
0.5 teaspoon allspice
0.5 teaspoon nutmeg

Cream together sugar and butter, add meal and eggs, then add dry ingredients. Make small half-inch balls (my husband’s grandma made bigger ones which tend to be softer, so it’s all personal preference). Bake at 375° F for about 8-9 minutes. Sometimes I throw in a little orange peel to bridge the divide between pfeffernüsse and julpepperkakor.

20

@Lorin
Oh, thank you, I’ll take a look.